Post by anna on Dec 14, 2008 14:14:50 GMT -5
Hello Group,
I just joined and hope to find some comfort and support. My 23 year old daughter I'm quite certain has ADD. As a child she had behavioral problems, was ALWAYS extremely sensitive and emotional. I tried talking to her pediatrician over and over about my concerns but it seemed because it wasn't "written all over her" and she didn't have the hyperactivity piece of it, I could never get her properly diagnosed, not even through the public school system.
She struggled through school from the first day of kindergarten. It was very frustrating for her and very sad for me. I ended up disciplining her probably too harshly at times and would feel so bad about it after. I'd learn from my mistakes and keep persevering hoping she'd "outgrow" it since that was what the doctor's kept telling me. Each teacher would always say "she just doesn't apply herself." She ended up aging out before she could earn enough credits to graduate so is a high school drop out. She is so turned off about school in general she hasn't had the courage to get her GED. Everything overwhelms her.
She just split with her husband of four years (knowing she married too young) so she and my granddaughter have moved back home with me. My husband was never very understanding about all of this so I ended up looking like the bad guy all the time. She has procrastinated about getting a job and went for an interview last week. She will know tomorrow if she gets the job. I pray she does because I know it will do so much for her in many different ways.
I'm basically constantly trying to re-group and change strategies in how to help her. Recently I've come down on her hard being very honest with her about how she needs to stop hanging around with people who make bad choices, since it's so easy to make bad choices in that situation. She refuses to be reasonable many times, almost daily. Stupid stuff like she was driving around on bad tires, with no inspection sticker all the while it's registered and insured in my name. I told her that if she wasn't concerned for her own safety she at least has to be more concerned about her daughter. I refused to let her take my GD in it. Finally I took the plates off and canceled the insurance forcing her to get new tires and register and insure it herself. She had a giant temper tantrum and refused to see our concerns. It's been over a week and she still hasn't gotten a new inspection sticker, knowing the consequences could mean a fine if she gets stopped. She seems more concerned about her friends than her daughter and this isn't like her. She has very natural maternal instincts but lately acts more like a spoiled teen age sister when interacting with her daughter, than her mother. I know she is delayed in maturity but when will she begin to make progress steadily??? In the meantime I want to pull my hair out!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Anna