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Post by lakegirl on Jul 11, 2005 7:01:54 GMT -5
I'm 36 and unofficially diagnosed with ADD. I must say, after reading messages and articles on this site, I feel so much better!!!! I'm not alone in the world.
Recently, my husband and I have been a little at odds (Ok so not just recently - always at odds) anyway, he says I'm never satisfied with ANYTHING. I always want more. He says he spends time doing things with me but I complain we NEVER do anything together and the more he gives the more I want and it's never enough. His frustration level is pretty high.
I'm curious if this is an issue with anyone else, or if it really is just me?
Help!!
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Post by samammy4 on Jul 11, 2005 9:36:33 GMT -5
No, you aren't alone. I think something that ADD/ADHD seems to cause, in me anyway , is not really being able to be present in the moment, which causes me to feel somehow left behind and out of things, which I tend to sometimes blame on others. Combined with perfectionism , which makes me even more critical of how unsatisfied I feel, I tend to often be looking ahead to the future to get my needs met. My hubby and I have had similar discussions. For my husband and I we also differ on what fufills each of us in spending time together. While my hubbby is content to watch tv with me, I often need time away from the kids where we can talk and snuggle, or play a game. Anything where we are connecting one-on-one, and not just doing the day to day thing. Once we figured that out, things have been much better, as my hubby understands that I am not discounting the day to day contact he is happy with, but merely have different needs myself. I also try to stop being in my head so much and bring myself to the reality I am in and enjoy it. It takes some practice but it really helps. By getting out of my head and trying to just be in the moment, I feel much more satisfied with my life and my relationships, though I'm not suggesting it's all on you. I think women just tend to need more inimate interaction than men. You hear this with married couples all the time. your hubby needs to respect your needs, too. Then you guys can both try to meet in the middle. Hope that helps. Hugs, Sam
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Post by lakegirl on Jul 12, 2005 7:23:43 GMT -5
Thanks Sam. It helps knowing things and learning things and sharing things. Maybe I'll get some of this figured out one day!!
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